Why this Universe?

Why this Universe? So I had an amazing day today. I wokeup beside the man I loved the cuddles and we danced, we made love, we cooked together, there was food and there was wine, we went for a walk(A long one) , Sat in a park at the midnight and were on a see saw, we then walked back home went over had coffee from this rickshawala who sold coffee. Impeccable level of self satisfactory level, but then i still don’t believe in all of this, it was just time, we like spending time with each other, or I don’t know maybe! why do I hoe soul myself often anyway doesn’t really make alot of difference, eventually I have brought a moody self of me in this new year and it has made me more detached and Alot of things are just objects for me which also includes few men 😅 Brutal but in the parallel universe, In my real world I am always scared to be Me, because I want to be loved no matter how much i try to act as humble and as good of a human that I can be. I love ME in parallel universe because I care a flying Fuck about negativity, Decision making and regrets. I absolutely am a free human, I love the thought of being in the parallel universe it has improvised my concept about my own life and I have been able to work on myself better that way.