Mid night independent heart soccer!

Sleepless in the middle of the night only to realise why my priority can not shift to just having a man that I want and live happily ever after. My story doesn’t take to these kinda twists!

While my life flashes right through my eyes right now. I feel all the struggles that I have been through to be where I am at, sometimes all I want to do is leave this girl behind and settle for a guy whose mom likes me for him just to have a home maker life.

It clicks to me each day that I cannot really dream of having the love at first sight kinda love, the love that chases you, the love that surprises you. I have been there before but the chase wasn’t voluntary. I have the best set of people around me and the question is will they do all that for me that I am ready to do for them?

I know I am not a nice person if I expect nice things in return to what I do for people but who wants to be a nice person? I only want to be human. (Because I am scared of being hurt)

They choose but they deserve better!

The irony – It is the ungrateful ones that have it all easy, get the best of it and the thinkers are caught up in thoughtfulness.

Songs like ‘Say you won’t let go’ would forever stay my shower song. I would imagine the pillow to be him and that’s the maximum that I could perceive.

I am the choosing kind and each time I would want to choose someone, Il push myself into picking myself for the reasons I started watering myself in the first place. I still want them to choose me and then Il balance my priorities (which is planned but I am sure will never happen to me)

Short and sweet isn’t really my kind of life existence.

I am not the girl whose ex cries in a corner thinking that he lost me instead he looks at me and proudly talks about the woman that I have become.

Practical way of life is way too scary sometimes but in the midst of all our Samantha moments somehow Carrie wins!

I have been a person to be gulping down the feelings and move ahead because I water my self esteem more than I water my feelings.

I could choose my entire life otherwise but the question is, would they?

I could hustle through the day and stay up all night thinking of you, I could stop myself right there and remind myself this is not what I am meant for! Deep inside we all long for..

I could be the most successful lady with 3 pent house apartments with the comfiest bed to sleep on, if you are still in my thoughts, I am still incomplete. Throughout my life I have been scared of falling in love, limiting myself to just liking which in turns reminds me of dialogue from the movie ghosts from the girlfriend’s past “Choose love, because regret beats pain everyday and twice on sundays”

But I am selfish I don’t want to be the only one in pain. Overthinker me has died a million times thinking that a truck ran me over.

I have been a keeper but I always kept myself to me.