House of questions!

House of questions!

I am sitting in this dark room thinking of how I have been throughout my life and wondering how did I survive that? I am not saying I have seen it all but those were few worse things. What bothers me right now is why can’t I be that strong right now, they say wounds heal with time and if I have healed why am I not stronger than before? Why is it a house of card and why does it fall back down bad each time a small thing happens? If I have held my head high and been myself all the time happily why do I feel so shallow right now that I can’t support myself enough. Why am I losing the grip of my life all over again? Why are people not available for me in the way I have been there for people? Why can’t I rely on people the way they have relied on me? I truly deserve and that’s what makes me feel that no-one truly deserves me. I am a person of communication, the more you talk, the more we gel. The lesser we talk the more toxic it might go because I know you hardly care for me because I don’t even see it. Why did I not fall into depression when I should have and why do I feel emotionally not stable right now when I have no reason to feel otherwise? Why is it that everything is bothering me way too much that it should? Why has my gratitude faded away? Why is it that I am letting all my thoughts abandon me? Why is it that I have let their thoughts spoil my entire perception about the world? Why does being me feel so difficult right now?

But I will bounce back because I am a Phoenix and to a little girl that I was, I had promised that I will be the dream that came true.